Have you ever want something so badly than when the answer is NO your world feels like crashing? That has happen to me for the past few years. One of my dreams (and I have not give up on it yet) is to go out from my beautiful country for a while, to see the word, get to know new people, new cultures, taste new food but most important of all to find some answers and learn how.
For all of you that know me, you know I’m stubborn! So I took my last chance, I apply to an international internship in a Christian Relief Organization (something I know my heart burns for) in the country I have dreamed of since I was… I can’t remember, this started way too early in my life… any ways. I pray a lot and I apply. I must be the first one that send the application, it was 31 of December 2009 12:59pm –yes new years eve – the clock was ticking 00:00a.m. I press SEND and there it was…I APPLY!. Next step? Waiting!!. Something I surely do not like!
No answer for 2 months and guess what??? I got mail!.and the answer was….NO! – My world was broken, that was it, no trips, no dream, no hope, no nothing, Can you feel it? I did not have a plan B. First thing on my head: “Great! now I’m stuck here forever”.
Two weeks after being in a big depression I set on my bed and though. Well my word is over but the world is not, maybe I just start looking for a job (I know, some times I am way to dramatic). Then I prayed “God if you want me here, SOMETHING I DON’T WANT, then give me a job that I will like, somewhere where I can serve you with my career, some where my burning heart can be useful and I can put in action all you have written on me.
I am not asking that much God, please give me a job where I will enjoy been your hands, feet and mouth (well I’m a Communications officer I know I can be HIS mouth). Give me a life where I can say Jesus loves you but also give them a proof that those words are real, tools to do more than praying and singing at church on Sundays. A job where I can preach your gospel in many, many ways. Ame…” Hold it! my phone rings. “Hello? Hi we are calling you from (the biggest Christian NGO in the country) could you come to the office for an interview tomorrow? We would like you to work with us”—that was a really fast answer GOD!. So guess what???
I am still praying for the opportunity to go out side Bolivia for a while and get my dream, learn and come back to change my beautiful country. But I have been working on that organization for the past ten months and I am sure that was not may plan A, nor plan B, I do not think about it as a plan Z but it looks like it was God’s plan A. Now I am living part of my dream every day and I am sure my world was crash for a reason. I have got the opportunity to know new people from every where, new cultures, tasted new food but most important I have found some answers and I have learned a lot!. I just pray God will give me grace, wisdom and health to be able to do what He wanted me here. Not every day is great, there is muuuuuuuch stress, I get sick some times, others I get tired. Some things I think: What in the word! And how did I got here?. I know that I have stopped dreaming my life and I have start living it! Right here, right now! And I know God’s plans are better than mine even though He change my plans again!